Dreams

When I was fourteen and about to leave home for ballet boarding school, I loved to make collages. I would flip through Dance and Pointe Magazines and admire the photographs - a beautifully sculpted leg; a haunting expression on stage; a quote or word that I wanted to remember... I would tear out the page and carefully trim around each image. I spent hours arranging them all, fitting them together like puzzle pieces. And finally, with a mixture of glue and water I plastered them to a canvas, stopping to smooth and correct any wrinkle or ragged edge. 

I took such care with those collages! Now I see that I was doing what I could to manifest my dream of dancing professionally in a tangible way. I hung those canvases in my bedroom and they provided a visual reminder of the inspiration at the root of my aspiration. 

I've realized the dream that I so lovingly tended by creating and treasuring those collages. (And of course by training, hurting, crying, growing, and performing.) The world of ballet has opened up before me and now I dream of so much more! When I was fourteen, I found myself wanting a way to reach, even before I really knew what I was reaching for. Recently, I've felt that desire resurface. I think it's time to make some more collages. I'll need one for the little house that Hadrian and I are going to build. It will have a masonry floor and a wood-burning stove and lots of natural light. It will have an organic garden and a composting toilet, and a sweet little space for a baby. I'll also need a collage for this blog and one for all of the vegetables I'm going to juice with my new juicer. I'll need one for our someday small business, and for photography, and travel, and an updated one for ballet. I will nourish my dreams, honor them, and reach for them. I want to be filled up and inspired by them. Hanging them at eye level worked for me in the past. It's time to try it again!

"Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray." -Rumi