At the beginning of this month, I attempted to become a journal keeper. This is a habit I have tried many times to adopt, but usually, after the inspiration driven by a shiny new notebook ebbs, so do my entries. This month went pretty much the same way.
Here's what I did not do: write daily, write eloquently, use nice penmanship.
Here's what I did do: write much more than I would have otherwise (better something than nothing eh?).
I am being reminded constantly, in creating this blog and in journaling, what a simple blessing it is to write. No matter how jumbled and frustrated my thoughts, when pushed through my pen onto paper they gain clarity. Writing, regardless of the subject matter, pleads for integrity. It requires me to search, in my own experience of life, for the truth. It requires me to discover the details of what I believe and affords me the time to express carefully. Above all else, writing brings me to a height of perspective from which I can feel only gratitude and humility.
I have been dancing since I was a young child and I feel comfortable sharing the product of this training with the public. I feel, despite all that I can do better, confident in my value as an artist. In ballet, I am a professional, I am prepared, it has been a part of me for so long. In contrast, I am creating this blog as a total amateur, in photography, in writing, in web-design...I am learning every step of the way and I am absolutely loving it. Unlike in ballet, I have built no mental barriers, no emotional baggage. I have no particular reason to be good at it so I am pleasantly surprised when I am. Sharing something this minimally polished, unrehearsed, and unfamiliar is way out of my comfort zone. Publishing each post is downright scary...but so lovely too. I want to keep going. Despite those little monsters of doubt that creep in, I want to keep exploring this new form of expression. I want to be fearless about my own creativity.