I'm breaking open this blog again on my 24th birthday, my last before I have a little babe attached to my hip. Right now that babe is squirming around in my belly, teasing me with head-butts to my pelvis as if to say "let me out Mama! I'm ready to meet you!" At nearly 38 weeks I am ready to meet him too! I'm trying to balance rest and preparation and excitement for the main event which could happen any time from right-this-minute to a month from now.
On the cusp of what I anticipate will be one of the greatest shifts in my life, I feel strong. I feel fortified by the past months of change. I've said a firm goodbye to old dreams and taken steps towards new ones. Decisions that at one time felt too big to make, have been faced, and put to rest. I feel full to the brim when I reflect on my career as a dancer. I also feel that I'm leaving at the right time, that I'm ready for a new cup by which to measure fulfillment.
Last week Hadrian asked me sweetly if I'd like him to get me a pedicure for my birthday, "you know, since you aren't cramming your feet into pointe shoes anymore." I'm so excited to give my feet a rest; to give new parts of my body and mind and soul a chance to hold me up, to get tougher, and to make something beautiful.